He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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