they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
