yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
