She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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