seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
