It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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