we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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