his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
