I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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