I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
