who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
no you cant smoke seaweed
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
