i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
