Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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