I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
