dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
