I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
