I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I look better un-naked...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
