marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
