Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
