would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Randomize
