well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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