I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
