I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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