So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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