Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
