Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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