An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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