Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm so fucking centered right now
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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