Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
