I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
