the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he was CRYING into my vagina
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
