i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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