Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
