The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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