yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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