I just gift wrapped bread.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
