I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
