Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
