grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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