Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
