So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
