yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
