Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
