Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
