Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
