Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
