I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
