i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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