We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
