Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
