Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
