so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need to calm my uterus...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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